Hamhaus: The Overhaul Begins

A rainbow-colored arsenal

As a lover of all things design, interior and beyond, it pains me to live in a space that sucks the aw out of awesome. Everything is  beige-y flat and 1970’s yawn (except for the shower, sink, and toilet in the bathroom that are a head-scratching pink). We could pack the place with 87 clinically-depressed clowns during a long Seattle winter and they wouldn’t last a week.

It’s time to make this awful place clown-worthy again! I’m happy we’ve begun the process of cleaning out corners, getting organized, and creating realistic spaces for both of our needs. His needs: an office for working out of the home, a man cave, privacy. My needs: a social space, a writing surface, an organized kitchen to play in, light. Our needs: a bedroom where the floor can be seen by 1-4 human eyes at a time; a system for wayward clothing.

So far, we’ve carved out an office for him, a writing space for me, a nice bedroom for us, a good social space for our friends, and made organization our daily bitch. It’s taken forever, but I’m finally starting to like where we live. Almost; barely.

Part of this apartment overhaul includes going through storage, letting stuff go, and cleaning things up — things like Justin’s amazingly awesome He-Man collection. I’m a pacifist at heart, but our fortified castle would just be a castle without actual fortification, so we’ve armed ourselves to the teeth with lots of colorful plastic weaponry. Mostly to defend against animated half-men in tights on steroids.

I cleaned up all of the toys, giving them a bubbly communal bath — yes, even Battlecat — and have plans for featuring them somewhere in our apartment. They’re just too awesome to keep in a box.  Maybe a staged battle, hanging from the ceiling, or a wall of mounted shadowboxes, or continuous, multi-room He-Man scenes? There’s a lot of options.

A friend said I should document this process by posting photos of things I like in our place — in an effort to stay positive instead of freaking out about where the ants are coming from or why our oven is so fucking small or if pink toilets were ever en vogue — and I agreed to it.

Operation: Positive @*$%?&#! Thinking has begun, and the Hamhaus should be better for it.


3 thoughts on “Hamhaus: The Overhaul Begins

  1. […] I wrote last year, we’re in the process of making our apartment look fit for basic human living. Not like […]


  2. Fox Anthony says:

    But are you fortified against animated half-men in tights on steroids who have also gone to clown college?


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