Former Employee of The Month
JOB TITLE: Battle Guitarist – CS-0303-11
AGENCY: Interior, Bureau of Citadel Affairs
SALARY RANGE: $38,896 to $42,965 Per Year
POSITION INFORMATION: Full Time – Permanent
DUTY LOCATION: 1 vacancy in the following location: Desert Wasteland, Australia
SECURITY CLEARANCE: Public Trust – Background Check
SUPERVISORY STATUS: No
JOB SUMMARY:
The Bureau of Citadel Affairs is the lead agency in Australia for managing relationships with post-apocalyptic allies and enemies throughout the region. A challenging and dynamic place to work, it enhances community engagement and quality of life for a lucky chosen few, and carries out the responsibility to protect and improve the trust assets of the Citadel.
TRAVEL REQUIRED
- Yes
SUMMARY OF DUTIES:
- Represent the Citadel as lead guitarist for all official state trips and battles.
- Coordinates team meetings, schedule, setlist, and logistics with traveling Battle Drum Corps.
- Assist Regional Director on assigned matters as an authoritative representative of community outreach.
- Motivates warriors and warlords in-transit through all fields of battle in diverse and challenging environments.
QUALIFICATIONS REQUIRED:
- Advanced double-neck guitar skills with emphasis on shredding, dischord, and sludge metal riffs.
- Advanced stunt work certification with experience in high-speed desert car chases and vehicular acrobatics.
- Specialized hands-on experience with military-grade flamethrowers.
- Weather resistant.
SPECIAL REQUIREMENTS:
Official battle guitarist uniform: A red onesie and head-covering mask made from your dead mother’s face.
You will be evaluated on the basis of your level of competency in the following areas:
- Ability to successfully narrate and convey the mood and pace of battle to all participants.
- Ability to work, play, communicate, and sleep while attached to harness-bungee suspension system.
- Ability to withstand 150 decibels for days and weeks at a time.
- Stage presence, including but not limited to: make-up, costuming, attitude, energy, and audience participation.
- War Boys Department evaluation.
- Guitar modifications.
- Time management.
The Bureau of Citadel Affairs provides reasonable accommodations to applicants with disabilities. If you need a reasonable accommodation for any part of the application and hiring process, please notify the Citadel civilian personnel unit.
