You know when you’re like I’M GONNA DO THIS DIFFICULT THING and people are all YEAH YEAH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT which makes you fortify your resolve TO DO THE DIFFICULT THING ANYWAY because LIFE IS PRECIOUS, YOU ASSHOLES ET CETERA and then you attempt it and realize you’d rather pour hot worm juice all over your naked body in the middle of Times Square than attempt something that challenging again?
Welcome to The Glad Game.
Pollyanna was an enthusiastic brat to the point where you wanted to break her legs, but at the end of the movie, she loses the ability to use those legs, so it kind of evens out. Trying to embody the same leg-breaking enthusiasm has proven more difficult than I thought, but! here are some good things that have come from this infernal election:
1) People can see America for what it is, now more than ever. While some folks will resort to the kind of oppressive behavior that keeps white supremacy alive, other people surprised by this outcome might finally wake the hell up. My hope is that with the blinders off, more people will ask “What can I do?” rather than shrug and do nothing for the next two-to-four years.
2) I’m ready to participate in changing this country in ways I never did before. I’m heartened by the people in my life who’ve already stepped up and gotten volunteer gigs, donated to non-profits in our area and beyond, written to their government officials, and joined in citywide protests. The best thing is seeing people jump into action and declare themselves as allies.
3) Saturday Night Live and all the late-night talk shows will get super funny again. Alec Baldwin will have steady work for the next four years; I know we were all worried about that.
4) The country-and-internet-wide conversations started about women and sexual assault because of Trump’s history with it made a huge difference to a lot of people I know, including myself.
5) I get to be MONUMENTALLY RIGHT for the next four years when Tiny Hands McGee shows his followers what he’s actually made of: smoke and mirrors. And by that I mean cheap smoke manufactured from China and non-reflective mirrors made in Mexico.
6) My HEY RAD LADY Insta-project is coming along nicely. I have plans to take photos of a handful of local gals in the next week who are pretty rad. Looking forward to adding any and all legends-in-the-making alongside icons who’ve made a name for themselves already. In researching potential women to include, my respect and admiration for what women can accomplish in such a short time has grown from “Cool” to “HOLY FUCKING WOW.” My thinking has already morphed from “Well she’s special, of course she could do that” to “If she did that, then what can I do?”
7) I went to the spa yesterday to soak in its consolation waters and eat a thousand pot stickers. Which I can do no matter who’s President, but it was nice that “self-care” was the first thing I thought of when it came to brainstorming post-election activities. “Literally drown in whiskey” was another one, but that didn’t sound as healthy.
There are probably more positives – hey, The Armored Coconut was included in the Five Star Mixtape #384 of great blog posts for this week (yay!) – but coming up with seven things felt like an epic brain bleed, so I’m just going to list three more great things that have nothing to do with politics:
8) OUR LEGS WORK. And if for some reason yours don’t, OUR BRAINS WORK. Depending on the whiskey situation.
9) There is always Frank Ocean – love this song with Bey singing back up (could only find it on Spotify). He’s been on my list of writing music for a couple of months. He keeps me calm within our current shitstorm of social media seppuku.
10) Thanksgiving is right around the corner, people.”Food heals all wounds,” or however the saying goes.