Tag Archives: oh god tv is my life

GoT Recap, Ep. 6: Expedition of Doom

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Hiiiiiiiiiiii

Welcome to the penultimate recap of the penultimate episode of the penultimate season of a boring show called Game of Fucking Thrones!!! The ‘I Have So Many Questions’ edition. I can’t believe we’re almost finished! As ever: gigantic, scaly, ice cold re-animated spoilers ahead. Obvious foreshadowing in bold.

The Boy Scouts Annual Ice Camping Trip Into Hell

We open just north of The Wall – but really Iceland, which is why the cinematography is so unreal – with our favorite ragtag group of mismatched misfit saviors and survivors. There is much humor, camaraderie, intimate conversation and grudging respect between these men – Jon Snow, Tormund, Gendry, Thoros, Beric, The Hound, Sir Jorah – in so many combinations, that it really does feel like a reluctant buddy film. The Hangover: A Wolfpack Adventure starring Tormund Giantsbane, the Zach Galifianakis of The North.

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GoT Recap, Episode One: Winter AF

nightking

Just chillin’

For the “last” season of Game of Thrones, I’ll be doing a recap of each episode because this is America and I do what I want, at least until it turns into The Handmaid’s Tale and I become a professional birthing mule. Spoilers ahead!

We begin with revenge-genocide at the hands of a child, and here is why I love this show. Arya the Many-Faced Homicidal Tween exacts her genocidal revenge on the Walder Frey clan with poison, in disguise, in the same hall where her family was ambushed and killed. RED WEDDING REVENGE FTW. Every time she pulls a mask off her face, I think “Are we really falling for this idea that Arya is a skilled death mask magician who has the time, resources, and energy to create these masterpieces on the fly??” I can’t speak for anyone else, but a resounding yes is my answer. I want to believe.

Whenever Arya pulls her mask off, my Game of Thrones amnesia kicks in because I always shriek like these are new to me, when really she spent an entire season in that creepy death palace with Killer Bitch and Hipster Jesus.

“When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.”

When Arya dropped that medieval mic, I heard it hit the ground the world over. YAAAAAAS BIIIIIITCH, y’all were screaming; I heard you, don’t deny it. Everyone loves an underdog. Everyone loves a Stark. Everyone loves a strong girl #LivingHerBestLife in this unforgiving landscape.

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