Tag Archives: recap

GOT Recap, S8 Ep2: Fireside Chats

tormund

“Giant’s milk.”

With only four episodes left, we need to discuss something important: When a Game of Thrones moment lands. Throughout the series, the joke in our living room has been “Oh no, that was a really nice moment between him/her/them. DEATH IMMINENT.” But now we’re actually in Moment = Perish territory, and the moments happening — everywhere at Winterfell, between everyone — cannot be ignored. Every sweet word, meaningful look, frank conversation, bear hug — I wonder if George Arr! Arr! is setting me up and they’re destined for the Night King’s army aka Obliterating My Spirit Until Time Dies…which I guess is Bran now? It makes all these lovely moments feel like emotional traps and I don’t know how many panic attacks I can take in the next four weeks.

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GoT Recap, S8 Ep1: Dragons

 

jon-snow-daenerys-targaryen-game-of-thrones

“I can show you the world…”

Roughly 595 days ago, I posted the Game of Thrones Season 7 finale recap, thinking we would never see the end of this series due to a Trump-related nuclear fallout, a George R. R. Martin-type setback, or simply death by anticipation — but we made it, friend-ohs. Seems like we should be rewarded for our never-ending patience with a brand new opening sequence. Reward granted!

Thoughts on the new opening sequence: ALL THE YESES. I love the upgrade, how they’re going deep into the interior of things (I think the Winterfell crypt is important this season), and that they’re tracking the undead army by turning white tiles into blue ones. Genius. Read more about what the production studio has in store for the credits here.

This first episode was one of reunions and revelations. The pace wasn’t as lightning fast as last season was — at least it didn’t feel like we were sprinting, merely trotting along with purpose — but I’ll be happier once the episodes go feature length, starting in Episode 3.

The first scenes, we saw the Unsullied, Dothraki, and two fully-grown dragons plus all the human throne hopefuls marching into Winterfell. Within 30 minutes, there was a Jon-Bran reunion, Jon-Arya, Tyrion-Sansa, Euron-Cersei, Bronn-Qyburn, and Yara-Theon. Shocking no one, Dany and Sansa are high school frenemies now. Bran is still pretty Bran, though more talkative than usual (from three words per episode to like…seven). Sansa and her ex-husband, the Imp, have an outdoor tete-a-tete. Qyburn tasks Bronn with revenge-murdering Tyrion for Cersei. Yara clocks Theon after he rescues her but they make up, Iron Islands-style. What is dead may never die.

Euron and Cersei predictably get it on because he’s the most arrogant man in the world and some women like that kind of thing. Especially when their other partner is a tender-hearted sibling who abandoned them to fight the undead. Also totally normal: Saying “I wanted those elephants” post-coitus while drinking red wine in a terrible wig.

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GoT Recap, Ep. 5: East of Some Shiiiiiit

gendry

HAMMERTIME

Welcome to… all this shit aka The Episode 5 Recap of Game of Thrones. We open like two miles from where Bronn saved his workwife from impending dragon doom. Not sure how he and Jaime made it that far underwater without magic or a shitload of gillyweed, but I’m suspending disbelief since this is a show about zombies versus dragons.

Tyrion walks through the ashy aftermath of last week’s battle and contemplates man’s inhumanity to man. Not once does he stroke his beard thoughtfully. That was a missed opportunity.

Daenerys gives a lovely pep talk to her new white prisoners about how she’s definitely not a murderer and totally chill. Then she’s all BEND THE KNEE, BITCHES (like, this is seriously becoming her thing) and Drogon’s like DID SHE STUTTER, SHE SAID BEND YA FUCKIN KNEE and boy howdy, do they ever.

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GoT Recap, Episode One: Winter AF

nightking

Just chillin’

For the “last” season of Game of Thrones, I’ll be doing a recap of each episode because this is America and I do what I want, at least until it turns into The Handmaid’s Tale and I become a professional birthing mule. Spoilers ahead!

We begin with revenge-genocide at the hands of a child, and here is why I love this show. Arya the Many-Faced Homicidal Tween exacts her genocidal revenge on the Walder Frey clan with poison, in disguise, in the same hall where her family was ambushed and killed. RED WEDDING REVENGE FTW. Every time she pulls a mask off her face, I think “Are we really falling for this idea that Arya is a skilled death mask magician who has the time, resources, and energy to create these masterpieces on the fly??” I can’t speak for anyone else, but a resounding yes is my answer. I want to believe.

Whenever Arya pulls her mask off, my Game of Thrones amnesia kicks in because I always shriek like these are new to me, when really she spent an entire season in that creepy death palace with Killer Bitch and Hipster Jesus.

“When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.”

When Arya dropped that medieval mic, I heard it hit the ground the world over. YAAAAAAS BIIIIIITCH, y’all were screaming; I heard you, don’t deny it. Everyone loves an underdog. Everyone loves a Stark. Everyone loves a strong girl #LivingHerBestLife in this unforgiving landscape.

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